If Only I Could Tell You
by Tifa-Shan
Summary: A short story. (Rated for mild swearing.) Based on the scene at Cosmo Canyon around the bonfire. Tifa's early feelings about the love triangle and her secret about Cloud. Please R/R.


Disclaimer: FFVII and everything related to it like characters and such belong to Square, not me, okay? Okay. ^^ Continue.  
  
Yet another short story. It shows Tifa's early views on the triangle and her secret of Cloud during the scene at the bonfire in Cosmo Canyon. Please review!  
  
  
  
If Only I Could Tell You...  
  
She saw him as a figure unable to be surpassed by anyone, at least in her eyes. She adored him, there was no doubt of it. Tifa Lockheart undeniably loved Cloud Strife, however hard to admit. But sometimes things get in the way...  
  
The Cosmo Candle was warm and calming, and it gave her a feeling of comfort. Much had happened that day, and she was still in awe of Bugenhagen's planetarium. Of course, being alone like this, left to think...it ate at her. She hid it well because of the risks it could cause, but it was there. It was always there.  
  
'How beautiful...' She thought, looking to the red and purple sky of the canyon beyond the bonfire. Wrapping her arms around her body, she awaited Cloud to appear, falling into thought. Thoughts of the beauty of this new place...of the bonfire in front of her...the emotions she fell upon...but what outdid any of them was her longing...  
  
"What's wrong Tifa?" Asked Aeris, looking up from her place about halfway across the fire from Tifa. The beautiful flower girl...she seemed so perfect..  
  
"Nothing....I'm thinking." Tifa replied with a mere shake of her head.  
  
"Oh...well..I'm thinking too." The older woman said, with that faint touch of cheeriness in her voice, and soft angelic smile.  
  
Tifa looked back into the fire. Though she didn't ever concentrate on it, it was a well known fact to her that Aeris just seemed to outshine her. Tifa felt she was pretty..but Aeris had that fresh angelic appearance...and Tifa knew she was an optimist...but not cheery like Aeris. She tried to help everyone...but why couldn't she bring a smile on anyone's face just as easily as Aeris? The answers couldn't be found...it was just who and how the both of them were.  
  
But she didn't worry too much about it...Aeris was a good friend to her, almost like a sister in some ways. They talked about anything. It was known among everyone, but never brought up, about the love triangle and rivalry they had against each other over Cloud. But it was a 'friendly' one. (Despite Tifa's ability to become quite envious, but Aeris was more of the flirt anyway.)  
  
"Sorry I'm late..." Cloud pranced upon the scene again, a flashy entrance as usual. Barret laughed lowly, shaking his head, as everyone well knew that he hated Cloud's 'spikey ass entrances'. "What's wrong with you?"  
  
"Me? Haha...nuthin' cept you...." Barret chuckled, as Tifa reacted to this slightly distressed. 'Those two will never get along..'  
  
"Me? The hell?!"  
  
"Hahaha...yeah, that's right.."  
  
"..........Cloud?" Aeris looked up with hopeful eyes, and Tifa immediately felt this pit in her stomach. Envy again...  
  
"...What?" He turned to Aeris, reluctant to take his glare from the man with the gunarm.  
  
"Have you learned anything?"  
  
".....Not yet. We're still working on it. Tomorrow we set out again though."  
  
"Okay. I still want to find out..."  
  
"....?" And Tifa had had her fill.  
  
"Hey Cloud?" She interrupted lightly. "Isn't Nibelheim just past the river?"  
  
"Huh? Nibelheim? ...It's burned down..." Cloud's brows narrowed, as the rest of the group kept quiet listening in.  
  
"..I know that. I mean where it used to be..."  
  
"You mean where Mount Nibel is?" Aeris helped.  
  
"Yeah." She nodded quickly in agreement, as Cloud crossed his arms looking to the sky thoughtfully.  
  
"..I don't know. Maybe..." He finally said after a long pause. Aeris smiled faintly, as Tifa looked down quietly. The answer was a bit disappointing.  
  
"...They have materia in Nibelheim?" Yuffie chirped in.  
  
"No...they DIDN'T." Cloud corrected irritably.  
  
"Do they now?!" The ninja pleaded.  
  
"Nibelheim isn't there, don't you remember?" He asked losing patience.  
  
"I mean where it USED to be..in those mountains. Geez!" And so the teenager sighed dramatically and went on to pout irritably. "This place bites!"  
  
"........And it's believed that Sephiroth is an Ancient?" The flower girl started once more. And once again, everyone listened in full interest, except the moody Yuffie. Tifa however listened beyond the words...she took note of every smile and such Aeris gave Cloud. And she was sure Aeris did the same to her, except Aeris never seemed to care. 'It's just a game to her....'  
  
~  
  
Conversations continued, mostly concerning their journey as AVALANCHE. One thing that never seemed to happen was a vacation of any sort. Cloud was too focused on Sephiroth, and Aeris helpfully going along as the Cetra girl. Barret led in his own way, and the others went along in their own fashions as well. Tifa felt she was the only one who seemed to tag along at times, but then again, aside from being in AVALANCHE, she was just going along for Cloud. And yet she felt used sometimes, only being there to help when needed, or as a friend..someone to rely on. 'I'm never up front though...and Aeris is. Just because she's an Ancient. Man...if only I could make a difference....' And yet, she knew she could. But...it wasn't risk free.  
  
Cloud approached Tifa finally, taking a seat by her. The woman smiled some at Cloud, welcoming him, and turned her gaze back into the fire. "The fire is pretty, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah..." Cloud agreed lightly. 'And if it was just me and him...' Tifa thought, 'almost romantic...' And at that thought, she glanced to Aeris to see if she noticed the two of them talking. She didn't...she was thinking about the Cetra and Sephiroth. Tifa just never seemed to get the upper hand.  
  
"Hmm..."  
  
"...What is it?" Cloud asked curiously.  
  
"Nothing..." Tifa replied, turning her head away from him. 'But Aeris doesn't know..and...Cloud...does he know? I want to know if he remembers...it's so odd...'  
  
".....?"  
  
"..Hey Cloud? Do you....."  
  
"Do I...?"  
  
"....You're...the same...as you were back then?" Tifa asked, becoming indirect, however, she wasn't making much sense either.  
  
"What?" Cloud raised a brow at her curiously, but he was the only one looking to her. Everyone knew when the subject was close to the one about 'childhood friends', and left it between the 'childhood friends'.  
  
"It's nothing...sometimes you feel so distant though..."  
  
"I'm okay, Tifa." Cloud assured her, and Tifa nodded, taking in some comfort, but not much. She wasn't convinced entirely, but she knew when to leave the subject at that.  
  
~  
  
Some short time later, Bugenhagen had appeared at the scene, and following it a small journey for Red XIII. Though he had gotten help from the group, it was a matter among Red XIII (Or Nanaki, as his hometown called him.) and his 'family'.  
  
The retired from the day at the Inn, and most of the group, eventually, went to their rooms for the night. Tifa, however, went to the pub downstairs, taking a seat at the bench with a drink. She let her thoughts wonder aimlessly in the homely pub...and it reminded her of her previous job as a bar hostess. Her bar...how it was famous among families as a bar and restaurant alike. Seventh Heaven....she took a lot of pride in that place. 'Just another thing I had for ShinRa to destroy I guess...' she sighed.  
  
But ShinRa...that was the last thing on her mind right now. At this moment...she wasn't concerned about the Cetra...Shinra....not even Sephiroth. She was thinking about Cloud. She worried...she worried about that which confused her, but she had good instincts, and knew something wasn't right. But she also knew that this things wasn't going to come out anytime soon either, and though she wished to get this burden off of her shoulders, she was fearful too. And then there was Aeris...  
  
"...What if I told Cloud...he wasn't in Nibelheim...five years ago...he'd think I was crazy. But he wasn't..I remember crying! And Aeris would believe him probably...I'd only be hurting myself...it'll add up one day...I'll forget it for now...' And so she tried. She even thought about that depressing, hopeless love triangle.  
  
And as though she knew, Aeris appeared not much later.  
  
"Tifa? Why are you up so late....we have a busy day tomorrow!" Aeris exclaimed, walking down the stairs.  
  
"Yeah...I just thought I'd have a drink."  
  
"Oh...mind if I have a seat?" Aeris laughed, sitting opposite the younger woman.  
  
"Sure." Tifa smiled, but didn't look to her.  
  
"...So you WERE right about Red XIII acting weird!" She brought up the subject. "Who would have guessed he was so young..."  
  
"Who would have guessed he could talk." Tifa added, smirking.  
  
"Or docile!" Aeris chimed in, remembering when they first met. Tifa remembered that as well...her, Cloud, and Barret saved her from ShinRa.  
  
"Yeah.....say, what are you doing up so late?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh...I noticed you weren't in the room, and though I'd check on you."  
  
"Ohh..." Tifa said lowly. The conversation started out slow at first, but it quickened up, and as Tifa normally did when it was only those two, forgot the love triangle and was able to be a close friend to Aeris instead of a rival. But time passed quickly...  
  
"Hehehe...yeah!" Tifa laughed, as the two had talked away a good hour.  
  
"Heehee...and it's cute when Barret gets upset over nothing!"  
  
"I know....Barret's temper can get out of hand so easily...the sailor suit!" Tifa remembered, thinking back to Costa del Sol and Barret's new pair of sailor suit pajamas.  
  
"Yes!" Aeris agreed. And suddenly, the two looked to the clock together, the laughs fading.  
  
"Uh oh...it's late."  
  
"We're going to be in trouble..."  
  
"...How?"  
  
"Barret...he'd say we were being 'kids'!"  
  
"Hmm..maybe. But...I think it's time to go to bed...we need some rest for tomorrow." 'And I need to get my mind off of things...'  
  
"Yes..." Aeris said, standing up swiftly and brushing off her clothes, a habit Tifa noticed of her. "Goodnight!" The flower girl stated, running off to her bed, as Tifa followed slowly.  
  
The warm bed was welcoming, and one of the softest she'd been in lately. The walls, like the rest of Cosmo Canyon's, were rock, as the village was carved into the canyon itself. Obviously, there wouldn't be any windows here, so the room was dark as it could get with the lights off.  
  
Tifa normally would have tried to make things more orderly before sleep overtook her, but she was exhausted. Her armor and accessories were dropped to the side of her bed, and the blankets pulled up and around her. And sleep took her swiftly, as her final thoughts became blurry and she forgot her worries. She dreamed of the sunset sky of the canyon.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was short, and only took place in a small scene of the game, but I think it came out good for such a small part. Please review and tell me what you think!  
  
Tifa~Shan 


End file.
